[Verse 1]
My best friend always asks why I never have too much to say
Why the stress is killing me, she knows that I've up for days
Why we barely talk she's taken back by just how much we've strayed
Says I just reject her, there's a side that I keep tucked away
She tells me that she's tired, that simply put, she's sick of it
Wonder how she knows it, yet— still I won't admit to shit
Won't tell her about bitterness, (so I) tell lies and I stick to it
How could she understand if she never had to live through it
Been battling depression since before I turned sixteen
Yearned for green, so I learned to scheme— some of class mates turned to fiends
Worked the beam, in search of dreams, that very passion birthed a king
Ever since I learned to leap, careless hurdle seems
Now here I am, I made it far; from getting bullied as a teen
And goddamn, man I am scarred, probably fooled you cause I grinned
Seems I'm cooling with my team, but shit ain't truly as it seems
And if I open up you'll see what's pulling on my self-esteem
[Hook]
Now should I open up (huh?)
Let go of fear and simply open up (huh?)
Should I spill my guts to you and open up (huh?)
Can I open up, can I open up, are we close enough?
Promise not judge me if I open up?
Lend me your ear for just a while, as I open up
Just take some time to hear me out, let me open up
Let me open up, let me open up
[Verse 2]
Torn between this teaching shit and simply following my passion
One is safer than the other, may seem shallow but asking
What would you do in my position someone answer me I'm lost
Matter of fact I take that back, advice is cancer to my thoughts
As I just stand here and revolt, against this planet at all cost
Filled with plans to be a boss, so like a champion I fought
Cause I'd be damned if I am forced back to working nine to five
With managers all in business, not as long as I'm alive
Won't let them tell me what to do; f*cker you just yelled at who?
Oh, f*ck me, the hell with you! That other shit I've dealt with too
Can't let them strip me of my pride, that shit just hit me deep inside
Forget it, figure I'm alright, I'll just take all of this in stride
Our supervisor up in Avis used to say that we were stupid
But she'd worked there for a decade now bitch who the hell is clueless
Hey, I forgive her; man, she didn't know any better
And I ain't working for Coogie so really who am I to sweat her
[Hook]
Maybe she should I open up (huh?)
Let go of fear and simply open up (huh?)
Should I spill my guts to you and open up (huh?)
Can I open up, can I open up, are we close enough?
Promise not judge me if I open up?
Lend me your ear for just a while, as I open up
Just take some time to hear me out, let me open up
Let me open up, let me open up
[Verse 3]
Tired of faking happiness but see it's hard not to pretend
Logged myself into my Facebook to find I had lost friend
I normally wouldn't be bothered , it'd be tougher not to laugh
Lost a battle to addiction, you see Joshua had just passed
Which back then I couldn't fathom, thought he'd always be around
Plus he'd just posted some shit about deleting his account
When I found myself alone, see Josh was one of my only friends
That was '08 in VA, and I was oh so lonely then
Both, used to hit the blunt at Dustin's house man we were close
High school passed and I was ghost, you died of an overdose
Remember me being in China you messaged me to say hi
Instagramed pics in Dubai and you said that shit was too fly
We spoke of linking up the next time that I'd be in town
Next time I'd be in town, it turns out you'd be in ground
And I swear it hurt my soul, when I found out you were gone
I know how much you loved your little sister and your mom
Didn't make it to your wake, and for that I apologize
But I was broke up here in Boston going through it that's no lie
I guess the silver lining's you escaped this crazy world
You'll never feel the way we hurt, being alive just maybe worse
Cause we're stuck with racism, terrorists, politicians
You ask me they're all the same, blame it on this awful system
If god is living tell me why everything is so out of whack
Doubt that he will answer that, I'm done shouting on this track