My Pub Lyrics

I've been going t'same pub fer twenty year,
It were half a crown then fer buy me beer,
But they closed it down fer redecorate,
They said we'll knock a wall down,
Change bar round,
Paint door brown,
It's going to look great.
When I walked into it I couldn't believe me eyes,
Every cunt had a shirt and tie,
Mirrored walls and daft plastic trees,
It were a fun pub disco,
Wine bar bistro,
Gay club puff house,
Cocktail carvary.
So I walked to the bar fer to get me ale,
She said Tetly Bitter's not for sale,
They had fizzy lager with a German name,
I said you've got to be joking, I started choking, me voice were croaking,
I turned round.
Then a penguin grabbed me fer to throw me out,
He said you've got to dress like a twat end to get in now,
But I've been served in here for twenty years,
Now it's a fun pub disco,
Wine bar bistro,
Gay club puff house,
Cocktail...
Oh what the f*ck f*ck f*ck have they done to me pub,
What the f*ck f*ck f*ck have they done to me pub,
What the f*ck f*ck f*ck have they done to me pub,
Now it's a fun pub disco,
Wine bar bistro,
Gay club puff house,
Cocktail carvery.

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