Canada Sucks Lyrics

I hate the Sky Dome and the CN tower too
I hate Nathan Phillips square and the Ontario zoo
The rent’s too high
The air’s unclean
The beaches are dirty and the people are mean
And the women are big and the men are dumb
And the children are loopy because they live in a slump
The water is polluted and the mayor’s a dork
They dress real bad and they think their New York
In to-ron-to-o, On-ta-ri-o-o

[You know what actually I think I pretty much hate all of Ontario
Oh yah me 2]

I hate Thunder Bay and Ottawa
Kitchener, Windsor and Oshawa
London sucks and the great lakes suck
And Sarnia Sucks and turkey point sucks
I took a trip to Ontario to visit Brian Mulroney
He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me in a tree

I went to see the maple leafs and got hit in the head with a puck and I don’t even know how they did it, I mean I was playing the organ.

Ontariooooooooo, sucks! Yep actually you know now that I really think about it, I think I pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in our country.
Well except for Alberta, oh yah I love Alberta, pretty nice
Lots of cows, trees, rocks, dirt. moo moo moo

But
I hate Newfoundland because they talk so weird
And Prince Edward Island is too small
Nova Scotia is dumb because it’s the name of a bank
New Brunswick doesn’t have a good mall
Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad
Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks.

Manitoba’s population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer… isn’t that stupid
Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old
And as for the territories, their too cold!

And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia is that it’s right next to us

Because Albertaaa doesn’t suck, but Calgary doessssss.

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