[Verse 1]
Well, I like beer, I like wine
Drinking whiskey is mighty fine
Champagne got its merits
That's a bet
But a moment that I treasure
Oh, the thing that gives me pleasure
Is when I roll me up that funny cigarette
[Chorus]
Roll me up a funny cigarette
Roll me up a reefer
It's your safest bet
[Verse 2]
Now I'll get right to my point
If you'll just roll me up a joint
Come on now, roll me up that funny cigarette
You know there's smack, and then there's speed
Cocaine, well that's a rich boy's need
Mushrooms got their merits?
That's a bet
Oh but the thing that makes me happy?
Oh, the shit that makes me slappy?
Yeah, when I roll up that funny cigarette
[Chorus]
Roll me up a funny cigarette
Roll me up a reefer
It's your safest bet
[Verse 3]
Now I won't feel all tired and ratty
If you'll just roll me up a fatty
Come on, roll me up that funny cigarette
But I deep down
[Scatting]
[Verse 4]
Uncle Sam don't see no need
For me to smoke my stinky weed
Thinks my viper lifestyle's just a joke
He flies into his righteous rage
Just because I'm blowing gage
Instead of doing up his nasty coke
[Chorus]
Roll me up a funny cigarette
Roll me up a reefer
It's your safest bet
[Verse 5]
I won't give y'all no grief
If you'll roll me up a spleef
Come on now, let's see that funny cigarette
Hey...pops
Will you just say no?
Oh yeah you want that big old fatty gone?
Some fool says "Hey pops, that's an ear!"
I say no!