Serious Lyrics

Ladies and gentlemen, we've had a lot of comedy songs on the album so far. This next song is a serious song. By Benny Davis. Ladies and gentlemen, Benny Davis.
Thank you, Jordan. I feel it is our responsibility as artists today, to try and deal with some serious issues that plague our world, and so this next song is about a very serious issue indeed. It is something that I've struggled with in my life, it is something that grips our nation -
And that issue, ladies and gentlemen, is animals escaping from zoos. Each year, less than 12 animals escape from zoos across the planet earth and wider surrounding regions. This issue not only affects the small and medium sized animals, but also the large, extra-large and double XL as well.
(What? What? What? Dude. What are you doing? Lee? Come on, man. Lee. Lee. Lee! OI! LEE! Cut it out!)
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
I'm doing what we did in rehearsals.
Yeah, and I told you not to do this on the album.
Well, you said that in rehearsal as well. Are you still rehearsing?
(sigh) No, I stopped rehearsing at the point when I said, don't do this on the...
Well, I don't understand, what's the point of having a rehearsal if we don't do what we did in rehearsal, on the album? (sigh) So you can work out what you're gonna do and what you're not! We said we weren't going to do this!
Well, people will probably think we're still rehearsing!
No they don't! Oh, for God's sake!
People won't pay money for a rehearsal!
(arguing)
WE DON'T HAVE HAVE A SONG ABOUT ANIMALS ESCAPING FROM ZOOS!... Thank you.
For f*ck's sake.
Ahem... erm, so this song is about a very serious issue.
Very serious!
About a REAL issue, and that is something-
And that issue, ladies and gentlemen, is dark wizards.
Ah, for f*ck'S sake.
Each year, Lord Voldemort kills at least 12 muggles.
Jordan!
And Harry Potter's trying to raise money for Dumbledore's army, so just grab some -
Jordan! J-J-Jordan! What are you doing?
Harry Potter.
Why?
He's the best.
(sighs)But- th- Look, look. The song's about underage drinking.
Oooohhh!
Benny, that's a real issue!
(Yes.)
Yeah, we have a song about that.
Yes, I know.
Let's do that song!
(Yeah!)
Well, what do you think I've been trying to do?!
Five, six, seven, eleven!

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