Jackass In A Can Lyrics

Squire 1: Well, another party for the fancy folk that get to bathe once a month. Oh, that reminds me: Did you hear about the knight that got off his high horse?
Galavant: No.
Squire 1: Me neither. *all squires laugh*
Squire 2: Knights suck.
Galvant: They're not all that bad are they?
Squire 3: Sure, they are.
Squire 4: Worse even.

Squire 4: Your average knight in armor, he's utterly the pits
Squire 3: His ego's so humungous, his helmet barely fits
Squire 4: He wears two tons of padding and thinks he's quite the man
Squire 2: He's nothing but a jackass in a fancy metal can

Squires 1-4: A jackass in a can
There's nothing worser than
Some high and mighty jackass in a can
(All spit in their cups)

Squire 1: My master hasn't had a sip of his port without my spit in it in years. I got him cravin' it now. I gave him two months without it, he said it didn't taste right. *all squires laugh*
Squire 2: *to Galavant* So, what about your knight? Is he as bad as ours?
Galavant: Uh, yeah, sure.
There's all that fame and glory
Squire 1: The smell, though? Not so great
Galavant: And then those big, long lances
Squire 3: Yeah, to overcompensate
Galavant: The glamor and swagger
Squire 1: Yeah, I'm not really a fan
Galavant: He's quite--
Squire 2: A major dillweed?
Galavant: *resigned* In a fancy metal can

Squires and Galavant: A dillweed in a can
There's nothing lamer than
A condescending dillweed in a can

Squire 1: And who does all the planning
Squire 2: Yeah, and who does all the work
Galavant: True
Squire 4: Who gets no vacation
Squire 3: Not one pay raise, not one perk
Galavant: Good point
Squire 2: Whose third rate insurance comes without a dental plan
Galavant: Your average, humble squire
All: And not the meathead in the can

That jerkface in a can
There's nothing sadder than
Galavant: Some over muscled, chauvinistic,
Self indulgent, egotistic,
Stingy, prissy, narcississy
All: Jackass in a can!

Galavant: Oh, my God. That's me.

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