Yo, it's the return of the gifted gifter
The secret Santa grab bag sifter
The Grinch sled hanging off the ledge
Dead lifter
The best thrifter
The tear jerker
The Santa's little helper
Employee of the year worker
The smile bringer
The joy inside the child lingers
The boy inside the crowd proud he's a loud singer
The whole choir
The bowtier
The snow plow and the snow tires
The coat buyer
The "Aw you shouldn't have"-er
The Birkin Bagger
The gifted rapper
They told me it's the thought that counts but really it's the count that matters
Accountant hacker
Bank amount countin backwards
A thousand smackers
Its the return of Chris Kringle that piss singles
That shit tingles
Sending checks twice cause the names on the list wrinkled
My chips Pringle
My chips bingo
My green mean go
Your green means slow
It's the young born again
Good hood ornament
With a little chicken like a Cornish hen
Amazon ordering
Cohiba importer
Evergreen watering
Wrapping all night will he ever bring the chorus in
Fireplace bright like I threw ten menorahs and
Ten more kinaras and a whole f*cking forest in
I'll buy the doll and the mall that the store is in
I'll hide the presents and the dresser and the drawer is in
My dog doin' moves, he said "this shit is on the floor again"
Feds was on his trail but he got 50 names in Oregon
I bought cases bigger than the suits that you see Lori in
James still sitting but I'm sending a DeLorean
Look it's Mr. Christmas Bonus
Mr. Made his brothers bands, Mr. Nicholas Jonas
Mr. big cahones
But bigger heart that's where the homeless' home is
The home alone kid
It's the return of Kevin McCallister
The Swiss Mister
The hot chocolate mixer
That gets pictures
The big, big cousin misser
The quick fixer
The Wiz Oz big blizzard
The big gifter