Unlovely Baby Lyrics

1.
On thin carpet there squatted a child born unlovely. He
festered ‘neath the table and the dinner guest swore
that he ate a beetle and then smiled! “But, on that’s
nonsense! He’s never eaten my insects…
Though his chin is agleam with drool and many-jointed
legs…

2.
On thin carpet they stood and each guest lulled the
little larva- but reluctantly; so ugly! And he smelled
like rotten codfish! And besides, he squirmed and
writhed and in sudden fit of tears he took the colonel
by the ears and bit him on the nose and grunted! (Blood
on his crooked lips!)

3.
On thin carpet they gasped and shrieked and coattails and lace unceremoniously recoiled from unlovely lullaby
baby! And to the carpet he did plummet! And each guest
did watch him hit and saw how his small skull did split
and out crawled broken beetles and a surge of crimson
forth! (Blood on the thin carpet!) (Blood on his
crooked lips!)

“Shall we with draw to the parlor for aperitifs?”
“Yes, and my nose needs a bandage.”
“I find the present support for workhouse reforms
disturbing.”
“I have Cousin in Marshalsea.”
“Sunday or Monday, We’re leaving for Retchingsted.”
“No, I don’t think I’ll ever have children…”

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