The Planet Is Fine Lyrics

We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save
something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those
snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these
f*cking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to
take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another,
we're gonna save the f*cking planet?

I'm getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I'm tired of f*cking Earth Day,
I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois
liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't
enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos.
Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. They don't care
about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they
don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own
habitat. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be
personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't
impress me.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the
planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are f*cked. Difference. Difference. The
planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here
four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The
planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a
hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been
engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred
years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that
somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this
beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun?

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of
things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics,
continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic
reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by
comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide
fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic
bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The
planet...the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!

We're going away. Pack your shit, folks. We're going away. And we won't
leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam.
Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just
another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An
evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A
surface nuisance.
You wanna know how the planet's doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who
are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You
wanna know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City or
Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of
earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how
about those people in Kilauea, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an
active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.

The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it
will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-
correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be
renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will
simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the earth plus plastic. The
earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the
earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children.
Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the
first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it. Needed us.
Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why
are we here?" Plastic...asshole.

So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I
think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to be fair,
the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the
planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or
an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of
something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you
defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let's see... Viruses.
Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are
tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is
developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the
immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency
virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections
that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them
a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.

Well, that's a poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See I don't
worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we're part of a
greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you
want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...whoooa.
Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all.
It just is. And so are we. For a little while.

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