Kick Monday (in The Nutsack) Lyrics

I'm coming hard for Friday.
Like a pedophile
At his computer desk
Watching Rebecca smile.
I go the extra mile.
The marathon's 27th mile.
Then I hit the ice cold beverage isle.
I got a cast-iron liver.
And I would rather drown my sorrows
Than cry a river.
I use my brain like you
Use a plane flight ticket.
Now I'm in a place
Where all the fences are white picket.
The only way it might get disturbing
Is if you're bothered by the sound
Of light cricket chirping.
I just let it soak in like Robatussen.
And about the fast-paced rat race
There's no discussion.
I'm just trying to get into the proper mood.
Remix of everyday life, chopped and screwed.
What can I do to get the weekdays behind me?
Watsky, remind me.
Thank you, kindly.

Kick Monday in the nutsack.
Wedgie Wednesday's buttcrack.
I'm coming hard for Friday.
And if you're not, get the f*ck back. (x2)

Compared to mine, all testicles, hecka small.
Mine crack walls, like a wrecking ball.
When my checkered draws fall y'all see ornaments
Fit for a porno flick.
Time to deck the halls.
I'm glad it's all finished.
The week is all bidness.
But now I'm chilling, sprawled out
With a tall Guinness.
I'm gonna set the world record
For the funnest time ever
Had on the planet.
So everybody call Guinness.
I swear a lot.
This ain't Fisher-Price. If I'm a bad influence
Then here's the great advice:
Kids! Don't be a dickweed!
Appreciate the shit out of the present moment
And be f*cking nice!
I whistle weird for the tune of it.
If they all did, it'd ruin it.
We spent two months on this here
Bluegrass-folk rock-hip hop album
Because we really felt like doing it.
So everybody...

Kick Monday in the nutsack.
Wedgie Wednesday's buttcrack.
I'm coming hard for Friday.
And if you're not, get the f*ck back. (x2)

I'm an Amurican.
I put my work in.
And when work's done
It's time for perking.
Hey, let's invite the vultures down to have a drink.
They must be getting tired doing all that circling.
Cause it's the world's end.
We're overheatelated!
And, from what I hear,
We're also overpeopleated!
So, there's no room.
Or we'll just explode soon.
So, Let's get inebriated.
And forget what we created.
So I've been thinking
We should have a big party
For all humans, and even women.
For the dumb Southeners, and the lazy Mexicans.
The A-rabs, and the coloreds, and their peckers and
The cheap Jews, which is me, too!
I'll even treat you!
But, just this once, cause nothing's free, dude.
And when the fiery end comes
We'll burn up quicker.
Because we're full of liquor.
So everybody

Kick Monday in the nutsack. (repeat ad nausiem)

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