A-well I met this guy sometime last May I heard he was
hung and a machine gun lay But I musta been drunk, I
musta been busy Musta been watchin tapes of old MacGuyver
or Richard Bey IF ANYONE OBJECTS TO THIS MATRIMONY YOU
BETTER BAG THE BAD TUX AND JUST RIDE MY PONY AND ALL YOU
BAD f*ckS OUT THERE DONT YOU TRY TO BONE ME I ONLY WANTED
A PIECE OF THAT FRIED BALONEY-ONEY FIRST I DID SOME
JUMPING JACKS AND I SAW IT IN HIS PANTS HE SAID DAMN I
LIKE YOUR RACK--I MEAN, YOU CAN REALLY DANCE!!!! BY THE
TIME I GOT TO THE RUNNING MAN I THOUGHT THAT HE MIGHT BE
GETTING SOFT THEN HE PICKED UP THE PHONE AND SAID HEY!
THE WEDDINGS OFF!!! And so that guy I had just met last
May He saw my cameltoe then canceled his wedding day In a
leotard made of the finest gold lame At his bachelor
party guess who popped right outta the cake? (Repeat
chorus)