Happiest Man In The World Lyrics

When I'm broker than broke
And it's all up in smoke
I got zero
Gambled and beat
No shoes on my feet
I ain't no hero
My luck is I'm lost at a horrible cost
And I'm down
Held the ground
And viewed as unsound
And I gotta say, I'm the happiest man
In the world

When you ain't got nothin'
You ain't got nothin' they can take away
Got all the time in the world
To check out this gorgeous day
Ain't got no cellphone
Bill collectors leave me alone
Ain't got no unaffordable mortgage
I'm no unaffordable home and
I gotta say I'm the happiest man in the world

Well look at my friends
They are all like jewels I am rich
Some people get power, they act like fools
I never switch
Sittin' on a park bench lovin' the sun
Ain't got a nickel but it sure is fun
And I gotta say I'm the happiest man in the world
Well I went to the ATM and I was broke
I almost choked when it spoke
Said, "You are broke
Financially depleted, your money is deleted
Like your hairline, it has receded"
It continued to speak, it said "It's bleak
Your troubles are peak"
But it offered a solution, a bitter restitution
This ATM was the machine with the means
Spillin' the beans to pay for my dreams
I said "You're givin' me chills, spit out the bills!
I need a tower of gold the contents of the king's billfold
I need the treasure in a pirate's hold
I need cash, hard and cold
I'm insatiable, from what I've been told
I need the profits of a corporation sold and if I can be so bold
What Wall Street stole and enough dough to buy a Rolls
And hand-tailored clothes, and mansions and islands that I have chose
And I don't want to die, I want my body to be froze
Security that'll never doze
Live sculpture in a perpetual pose
I wanna be bathed in velvet from my head to my toes
I want my teeth capped in gold so when the light goes out, my head it glows"

No sooner had I spoken
Did the ATM spit out a bus token
Said "Here's the situation
You'll be takin' public transportation"
I was incredulous, this is an insult off the charts!
I said "What do I look like Cinderella at the Wal-Mart?"
I felt like a clown as I drove through the town in the bus in the back
Thought I had riches, but I didn't have jack Eyein' the street, tryin' to comprehend my defeat
And who did I spy with my little eye but Shina
With a new life complete
See, she had done time for a serious crime but
After her incarceration she had given her life a new interpretation by
Ringin' the bell for the salvation of souls
And when they hear the bell toll
They know they are in receipt of a place to eat
And a place to warm their feet
I said "Look at my friend Shina
Ain't she an angel? Righteously sweet!"

Her life could've been for naught
Her resurrection was hard fought
And here comes Bobby, he's off the pipe
He should've been dead we all thought
He was up to his neck he was a wreck
But he kept it in check with a sense of humor
He had us laughing at his antics even through a tumor
And I hope he hangs onto his health
Cause roarin' and his glorious stories adds to my wealth
And there's Jennifer she's workin clerkin'
She's also on the pole, got the young boys jerkin'
Now that's no judgment berserkin'
Homelessness was lurkin'
She got a special needs child so she does it all with a smile
Borderline smirkin'

I think it's safe to say I had an epiphany that day
Look at all my friends, barely employed
Maintaining their integrity, not null and void
Inspirational, conversational
These are the things that I've enjoyed
I've seen beggars with the stature of kings
I've seen homeless sharin' as if they had wings
And other things like patients on death's door
Smilin' more, not knowin' what's in store
I saw the clarity, charity, and it humbled me galore
And I went back to that ATM again and requested an encore
Because sometimes you gotta open up your eyes
And see what life is truly for
And that ATM didn't gloat
It said "Aw you ain't really broke
You're rich as a king
You just ain't got no money, that's the thing!"

Alamo, stuff you got at the mall
Stuff you got, it'll break
Put down that cellphone, talk to me face to face
Well I'm checkin' out people, lovin' the ways
Ain't been broker in all of my days
And I gotta say I'm the happiest man in the world
And I gotta say I'm the happiest man in the world
And I gotta say I'm the happiest man in the world

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