Vasectomy Song Lyrics

It's just a modern world we live in, but why do they
pick on me
Why just the other week my missus had the cheek to talk
me into a va-sec-tom-y
At first it never clicked that I was gettin' nicked, I
thought it was to test verility
Than after I went through it, ten days we couldn't do
it and then the doctor said to me

I couldn't believe it folks - He said please blow into
this bag, please sir
What? - to test your capability
I beg your pardon? - we're cutting down on accidents
I said are you fair dinkum - He said please blow into
this bag and we'll see

Well - I couldn't believe it at first but you know what
they say about doctors orders
So he gave me the little bag and ushered me into the
little room with all the pin-ups
Grubby little room it was, too, and I came back with my
little bag
And the doctor was quite satisfied, and so was I

It's just a modern world we live in, there's knew
fangled things every day
The cop said I was speedin', accordin' to his readin'
But I was three kilometers away
I was feelin' pretty mad when he took out his pad, I
tried to stay as calm as I could be He found a bawldy tread, he saw my eyes were red
And then he said this strange thing to me - I said what
again?

He said please blow into this bag, please sir
I said hang on - to test your capability
What? - we're cutting down on accidents
I said are you fair dinkum - He said please blow into
this bag and we'll see

Well this time I really was shaken up, the cop could
see I was a bit excited
He said well you better take a good grip on yourself
son
So I went around behind a big gum tree and came back
with my little bag
Well you can imagine what happened

It's just a modern world we live in, I'm feelin' very
sad and pale
The judge said I was sick and threw me in the nick
And missus said she wouldn't pay the bail
So take it from a fool like me, beware of quacks and
boys in blue
I'm feelin' pretty bruised so don't you get confused
I'd catch a train if I was you-ou

All together now - please blow into this bag, please
sir
Ahh, It sends a shiver down my spine
Please blow into this bag, please sir
If the women don't get you, it's the wine

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