The Phonecall Lyrics

Bob: "I can't believe this... I'll kill this
motherf*cker!"

(phone rings)

Jake: "Hello"

Bob: "Hello Jake!"

Jake: "Oh, hi there Bob! How's it going?"

Bob: "Oh, I'm just fan-f*cking-tastic, Jake. How are
you?"

Jake: "Oh, you know... can't complain"

Bob: "That's just f*cking great. Hey, I just spoke to
my neighbor that lives across the street from me and he
told me that you came by my house today while I was at
work."

Jake: "Oh, erm... Yeah, yeah I just popped in there for
a few minutes"

Bob: "A few minutes? My neighbor says it was more like
3 hours. So what could you've possibly been doing with
my wife in my house for 3 hours?"

Jake: "No no no, look Bob, I erm... I uh..."

Bob: "...cause you see, a guy like me can get
suspicious"

Jake: "Listen... huh, I can explain everything, I
erm..."

Bob: "Oh, I want you to explain"

Jake: "It's not what you think, erm, I..."

Bob: "Oh, please, Jake, enlighten me, cause I'm really
f*cking curious to know what you were doing"

Jake: "Look, it's nothing... it's stupid, really, I
uh... I went over to your house around 1 o'clock..."

Bob: "Uh-huh..."

Jake: "...and I, uh, I-I, I f*cked your wife, and then
I left"

Bob: "Really."

Jake: "Really, I swear! I went over, I f*cked her a
while and after we both came, I just went home"

Bob: "Is my name Forrest Gump, Jake?"

Jake: "Erm... what?"

Bob: "Answer the f*cking question, is my name Forrest
Gump?"

Jake: "Erm... well, no"

Bob: "So why do you treat me like I'm a f*cking retard?
You expect me to believe that you were in my house for
3 hours and all you did was f*ck my wife?"

Jake: "Bob, listen, I uh... uh... I came over, she blew
me there... uh... for a while... I-I came... so... so
we had to wait a bit. Then we had sex in the kitchen
for a while, then we had sex in the living room"

Bob: "You're f*cking lying to me and I really don't like it, Jake! You were in my house for 3 hours"

Jake: "No, no! It's not... but we... you see we had sex
a few times and then she wanted more! She said she was
really wet and feeling dirty and she wanted more than
one cock inside of her... so um... so... we-we called
your brother to see if he wanted to come over and get
in on the action... and-and, he-he-he... he said yes,
so we waited around for him for about an hour,
that's... that's why it took so long"

Bob: "My brother..."

Jake: "Um-hmmm!"

Bob: "You and my brother double-teamed my wife?"

Jake: "Oh, yeah, yeah! We gave it to her boy! In every
hole!"

Bob: "Oh, see that's funny, cause my brother's in Miami
this week, Jake. I find it hard to believe that my
brother flew all the way out here from Miami to double-
team my wife with you."

Jake: "I... well... uuuh..."

Bob: "And you know what the funny thing is? The fosset
in my kitchen has been leaking for 3 months now and
suddenly today, of all days, it decided to stop
leaking. I'll only give you one last chance to answer
the question and if you lie, I guarantee you, you're
gonna regret it! What were you doing in my house
today?"

Jake: "I... I'm sorry... your wife called me... and
I... I didn't..."

Bob: "Answer the f*cking question!"

Jake: "Your wife wanted me to fix the fosset, cause she
couldn't stand the dripping noise anymore! I-I didn't
want to do it but she begged me"

Bob: "And what did you do?"

Jake: "I fixed it! I fixed the fosset! I'm so sorry"

Bob: "You motherf*cking cocksucking piece of shit! You
f*cking fixed my fosset you backstabbing f*ck! Now I'm
gonna fix your face, you hear me? I'm gonna fix your
f*cking face! But if you think I'm ever gonna f*ck your
wife again, forget about it man! Last night was the
last time!

Jake: " No... No! Please don't do this!"

Bob: "Never again!"

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