My Grandfather's Cock Lyrics

My Grandfather's cock was an itsy bitsy dicky and it

hardly took up any room at all.

Had a head and a neck, but jesus christ by heck you

should have seen the size of Grandad's balls.

He had a horn on the morn' of the day that he was born

and 'though it was erect you couldn't see.

'Cause my Grandfather's cock was a pissy little pisser
but his

clangers they were hanging to his knees.

A tiny wee appendage... (not a cock not a cock)

An inch from end to end it's... (not a cock, not a
cock)

Just a stump, short, like a tiny little wart

On the old, man's, nuts.

Well my Grandfather's cock was a huge mother f*cker and
his

Pecker was erect or so to say.

And you should have seen the head, you should have seen
the neck

Used to take me for a wrestle in the hay.

Had a head like a steer nothin' 'tween the f*ckin'
ears,

You should have seen that god damn neck.

Like a giant of a man, with a pumpkin in his hands, Get that pumpkin f*ckin' pumpin' near to death.

You should have seen that darn thing... (what a cock,
what a cock)

Rearin' like a mustang... (what a cock, what a cock)

It was wild, mean, oiled up in his jeans

Woop 'er tail let 'er out and let 'er ride.

Well my Grandfather's cock was just average for an
aussie,

Weighed I s'pose 30, 40 pounds.

And overall his old fella was just a couple of inches,

Just a couple of inches from draggin' on the ground.

Had a vein in it's neck like a f*ckin' opera singer,

And a head like an old school bell.

And a pair of leather knackers like a ringers saddle
bags,

Picked up ribbons at the royal show as well.

Fair dinkum mate I kid you not... (what a cock, what a
cock)

Just an average aussie cock... (what a cock what a
cock)

And he still, ploughs, an acre everyday

Crawlin' 'round on his hands and his knees.

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