The All-time Loser's Lyrics

Oh darn I'll give it a try.

"Hello?"
Saw your picture in the paper with your advert in the paper,
And the personals in the paper, so I thought I'd give you call,
You look lovely in the paper in your undies in the paper,
With your number in the paper I got thirteen dollars is all,
"While hi my name is Katherine, I'm five ten and I'm Capricorn
Most folks think I'm attractive, you said thirteen dollars is all?
Oh lord I thought you said thirty, just look at time time
Oh lordy lordy you sure sound pretty now do thank you for your call".
Oh darn I'll try again.

"Hello?"
Saw your picture in the paper with your advert in the paper,
Truckers wanted in the paper so I thought I'd give you call,
You look lovely in the paper in your undies in the paper,
With your number in the paper I got nine twenty is all,
"Well I got you there nine twenty, ten four my name is Betty,
And I bet your rig's a beauty, nine dollars twenty?
Look a here you motherf*cker I don't care if you're a trucker,
Just go find a cock and suck it sucker go find yourself a boy".
Oh darn I'll try again.

"Hello?"
Saw your picture in the paper, social pages of the paper, A respected social matron so I thought I'd give you call,
And I bet you don't remember who was it called you 'Headjob
Hannah",
Yeah it's me the dangler, hello? Hello?
Oh darn I'll try again.

"Hello?"
I've got your picture in my wallet, and I'm down to my last dollar,
So I thought I'd give you holler so here I am just givin' you call,
You were mad when I last saw you so I took my pride and
swallowed,
Guess we'll sort it out tomorrow, come and get me honey that's all,
"Look you go f*ck yourself you asshole, you got link arms with the
devil,
'Cause you ain't nothin' special you just in trouble again,
So don't come home a smellin'a beerin', 'cause this time I won't be
hearin',
Stick your dollar up your rear and amen".
Oh darn I'll try again.

"Hello, Timosy Stay-In prison?"
I've kept her picture in the paper, in a faded ol' newspaper,
Under wanted in the paper, bet she'll be glad to get my call,
She looks lovely in the paper, in her new dress in the paper,
With her number in the paper I got twenty-five cents is all,
"Yes we'll return your call now sir".
"Hello?"
Hello Mama, "Is that you son?"

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