Animal Testing Lyrics

I was busy groping on my floor, some git comes knocking
on my door,
There's a pack of bastards queuing up outside.
No, I don't think that God's amazing. No, I don't want
no double glazing,
I'm just trying to get between this woman's thighs.
'Do you want some life assurance?' 'Do you want some
car insurance?'
f*ck off, twat, I'm trying to have a poke.
'God's sent me on this mission' 'Sign the animal
cruelty petition,'
I think beagles should be forced to smoke.
I believe in animal testing, (yip!) that's a dog,
I don't want cladding or insulation in me f*cking loft
Don't want to help the poor at Christmas, I'm too busy
in this bird's knickers.
I got my airgun out for the Hari Krishnas.

Some old biddy's saving dogs, so I pushed a flame
thrower through the letter box,
f*ck off granny, or you'll get what the mormons got. I
fried that bastard to a cinder, Poured piss on the vicar out of the bedroom window,
The Animal Rights got their leaflets up their arse.

I believe in animal testing (meeow!) that's a cat,
I don't want to buy any carpet cleaner, yes, I know the
dog's just shat,
I'm quite happy with these stains, I wired the doorbell
to the mains,
Now Macc's got no MP, isn't that a shame?

Got back to sorting this girl out, 'What was it you
came round about?'
She's collecting for the church's gerbil fund.
Now that seems like a worthy cause, so she got down on
all fours.
'I'd like to make a contribution to your cunt.'

I believe in animal testing (ooh!) that's a bird,
If the panda's dying out, I couldn't give a turd,
Don't want to know about politics, I'd rather scrape
the cheddar off my dick,
And save the smelly bits for Jehovah's Witnesses.

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