Guess Me Weight Lyrics

I bet my mates I could get a date with a girl called Edna
Gratton
She walked in the place, said she liked my face-
It was one she hadn't sat on
I said: 'I hope you're insured if you want me pork sword,
Its what comes when I sup Boddingtons, if you want a
quick fiddle,
Its wrapped round me middle, and in a warehouse down in
Warrington
Sit on me face, I'll guess your weight.'
They drip with fear when they see my beef spear
Come busting (combusting) out of me flies When I've supped me ale, they get impaled, they just
can't take its size

Lying in this f*cking field, outside Duckinfield,
Her knickers wet and sloppy
I was going to take her, when her cunt said:
'Breaker, breaker, anyone for a copy?'
I fumbled past the boils, dug out a rusty coil,
I could have been scarred for life
It lay there rusting, I said it smelled disgusting,
She said: 'Its Chanel No 5.' (channel number five)

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