My bike doesn't have titanium toeclips
My bike doesn't have a seven gram frame
My bike's mainly held together with blue tac
My bike's name is particularly lame
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But my bike's got a nice packrack
Bright and shiny and new
It really has a very nice packrack
To carry my love to you
My bike's tyres look like barbecued sausages
My bike's seat is infested with ants
My bike's ten speed but only one's working
My bike's chain keeps eating my pants, but...
Chorus
My bike's given me a muddy back guarantee
My bike ought to get the "No bell" prize
My bike's brakes break and fail to stop braking
My bike's a wheelbarrow in disguise, but...
Chorus