Origin Of Species Lyrics

Congregation, settle in your seats.
The Reverend Front Aloud is on the mic and about to
speak.
I’m about to freak you out, make you shiver in the pew
while I’m delivering to you my sermon and divinity
ensues,
brought by the one true God. It’s a fact:
anybody else who ever had a God, their God’s wack.
We ain’t got to worry about ‘em; we picked the right
horse.
You’re in the right house of worship (of course),
and forces are gathering out in the world
to diminish our faith in ways radical and thorough,
to discourage us from loving anything that’s
immaterial,
to tempt our children with ever fruitier cereal,
and worst of all, to call us idiots while they do it.
My congregation, listen; I’m about to walk you through
it.
We’re going to take the nation back from the heathens
that’s within it.
We’re gonna get the most egregious of the atheists
imprisoned,
cause a schism while we’re at it, but emerge on top,
and once we’ve purified our ranks we won’t stop —
we’ll purify your minds of what’s illegitimately
thought.
It’s not to be a battle indiscriminately fought,
but an orchestrated effort, and I’m gonna need you to
commit.
Might take a couple generations for this deviltry to
quit.
Start with the kids — in fact, they get distracted from
the Lord —
so I’d like you to write a couple letters to your
school board.

Do you, do you really believe
that we were nothing but them monkeys swinging up in
the trees?
Don’t it seem a little likelier that Adam and Eve
did a lot of humping, and that was the origin of the species?

And what has this so-called science ever done for us
but trumpeted that when ashes go to ashes & dust to
dust,
despite the fuss of living, energy gets conserved.
Denying the weight of the soul of a man: this is ill
deserved.
This is still the curse of Copernicus that we suffer.
Secular thought ought not to overflow its buffer
and run roughshod through the minds of you, the
population.
Heretics such as Dawkins and Sagan overstep their
station
to say that what we see and what we believe should be
confluent.
Look to your Reverend to end apostasy — that’s what I’m
doing!
Look to your Holy Book to light the way; that is its
purpose.
Open it up and you’ll find Eden ‘fore you even scratch
the surface.
And sure, this should be mirrored in the textbooks
verbatim
but I’m not in a position yet to issue ultimatum.
So I lay down my scheme: we’ll make it seem as though
creation
isn’t anything we’d like to interject to education.
We’ll wrangle up the language: science, data, theorem,
the irreducible complexity of the ears we use to hear
‘em
gnashing teeth and wailing from Kansas to PA.
Yes, my flock, I talk of futures not imminent but
underway.
Already established an Institute for Discovery.
Discovered that Darwin is dead with outlook grim for
recovery.
Schoolmarms will soon say that he burns in a fiery sea.
Think how much like paradise that’s gonna be.

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