Kasparov Vs. Deep Blue Lyrics

(Murray)
Well, I... I do have a question. How many people were voting for Deep Blue?
And how many people were voting for Kasparov? Ah.....humanity has hope - still, I suppose.
(Jian)
How many people are like actually disappointed that the human lost.
No no, disappointed I mean. Duh! No, Because like I just don't get it, you know? I mean,
you know? What's the f*cking big deal, you know? It's a machine, right? I don't know.
I made the point in Albany the other day which apparently lost on all the Albanians.
(Murray)
I didn't get it either.
[laughter]
(Dave)
That's not all that was lost on the Albanians.
(Jian)
There still behind the times.
(Dave)
There's a lot of foreign aid going on there.
(Jian)
So, uh...
(Murray)
Your point was if there's a fire, Deep Blue wouldn't run out of the room.
(Jian)
Exactly!
(Mike)
Couldn't run out of the room.
(Jian)
That's exactly my point. If an attractive person walks into the room, a person that would
be attractive to Deep Blue, it can't do anything about it. That's my point.
Kasparov can approach the person.
(Murray)
The attractive person.
(Jian)
No! Here's my point. My point is a calculator. That's my point. Right?
(Murray)
No, let's get back the fire.
(Jian)
No, hang on. No, no, the calc...forget the fire, because apparently it's, you know,
I'm talking on a different level.
(Murray)
I - Clearly!
(Jian)
Here's the thing. Here's the thing. A calculator, right, a common everyday calculator.
(Murray)
I'm with you.
(Jian)
A calculator will, you know, it...let's say, let's play the adding game, right? Who can
add faster a calculator or a woman or man? A calculator can, right? So what's the big deal?
We know that there are instruments... we know that there are are machines...
we know that there are computers, etcetera.
(Murray)
Right.
(Jian)
that can do things that. It's just because the the thing won at chess, right?
I don't understand what the big deal is. (Murray)
Your point is if you light a match near your calculator, it's not going to scurry away.
It's all relative.
(Jian)
No, my point is...My point is if there's a calculator. My point is... oh alright, okay,
I'll bring it back to the fire for you, because I know you're obsessed.
If there's a fire in my living room, where me and my calculator are sitting, I can escape the fire.
(Dave)
Yeah, but...
(Jian)
But my calculator can't.
(Murray)
Is there a logic course here that one of us can enroll in?
(Jian)
Well, I think, I think they know what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about the fact that the machine is programmed to only do one thing.
It can't do anything else. The fire was just one example. Pick anything, anything.
(Mike)
Locusts.
(Murray)
A flood. How about a flood? Can he escape a flood?
(Dave)
Buddy boy...
(Jian, laughing)
Kasparov can....
(Mike)
A plague of frogs.
[laughter]
(Jian)
No, say there's an, say there's an earthquake. Right.
(Murray)
Now, there's a good one.
(Jian)
There's an earthquake doen the middle of the room, the chess room.
Kasparov can get up and move. Deep Blue can't.
(Murray)
It falls into the chasm.
(Jian)
That's my point.
(Murray)
Right.
(Dave)
But if they built Deep Blue in a door frame then there's no room for Kasparov to stand...
to fight the earthquake. Then they're doubly screwed.
(Jian)
See...see...they'd have to program Deep Blue to escape the fire. That's my thing.
(Murray)
But they can do that in a couple of years.
(Mike)
You know we were talking about... we were talking about disaster movies.
This would be the perfect disaster movie. Just have an endless succession
of these scenes where Deep Blue is just sitting there.
"It's the locusts" or whatever and Kasparov is just running his little
piggy legs out of the room. "I'm free again, you f*cker."
(Jian, fading)
Here's the...I just think....

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