To my colleagues and friends
On this joyous occasion
Let us all raise our hands
And pay tribute to treason
I've prepared to read some
Jive that I've devised
Comprised of
Lies that will make you ill
And that's how I became
The King of Bullshit Hill
Someone told me
Rather boldly
That I wasn't working very hard
I'm the mac dad
Such a fat cat
I can make my breakfast out of lard
And I bought the company
Now you work for me
Just sit tight for a while
I'll rank if you file
As you can see,
Compared to me, these fake emcees
No, nobody gets more ill
And that's how I became
The King of Bullshit
I'll buy your heart
I'll sell your head
I'll own you 'til you're goddamn good and dead
You're in my place
I'm on your case
Now who'se my little cardboard smiling face?
This will work out for me
That's my company policy
I act like a phoenix
I'm big like Square-Enix
The tabloids say
I peaked in 1995
But making big money still
And that's how I became
The King of Bullshit
To the head of the class
To the head of the nation
You can all kiss my hands
You can chair my foundation
For fiscal masturbation
Prize if I have to vie, ever lied
Just wait 'til you get my bill
And that's how I became
And someday you'll become
And everbody loves
The King of Bullshit Hill
I'll buy your heart
I'll sell your head
(No money down, no money down)
No money down your heart
No money your head
(Half off, two to one)
Half off your heart
Two-for-one your heads
Big savings your heart
Super sale your head
No interest your heart
No interest your head
I'll buy your heart
I'll sell your head, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
No money down your heart
No money down your head
I'll buy your heart
I'll sell your head, yeah