Hey
Hey
Alright
Yeah
Aww yeah
My name is Link, y'all, I'm straight outta
Hyrule
Been on the force o' good since 1986, old
school
I'm bringin' you a laid-back summertime jam
Hold on a minute Link!
Hey, what's up old man?
I see that you're embarkin' on another epic
quest
You're gonna use your ocarina to rescue the
princess
But you'll need a magic weapon that'll
never ever miss
It's dangerous to go alone, take this
Oh, thanks Old Man, that is really very
nice
I can always count on you for help and
friendly advice
Though I've never seen a sword of quite
that shape or size
Oh god, that's not a sword! It's your dick
in disguise
Yes, I can't lie, I have painted my schween
Now grab your destiny if you know what I
mean
Wait a minute Link, don't leave the cave,
where do you think you're going?
It's a great chance to fondle a scrotum as
you're blowing
That. Was. Weird, but whatever there is no
time to lose
I gotta warp on outta Zelda in this chilled
out groove
Wait, this isn't Ganon's lair, I'm in
Liberty City
This place looks just like Philadelphia but
even more shitty
I'm at the corner of Dead Cop and
Prostitute Junction
Something in my Ocarina must have gone and
malfunctioned
I gotta fix it quickly there is justice to
do
Hold on a minute Link!
Old Man, is that you?
This is a place you can't survive with just
your sword and your wits
It's dangerous to go alone, take this
Well that's really kind o- D'aaah! That's
your wrinkled dick again
Look, I know I wear a tunic but I'm not
into men
Don't be that way bitch let me introduce
you
To my three best friends Mr. Johnson and
the Juice Crew
If you see the princess Zelda, well you
know you're gonna grab her
So why don't you try to come grab my
inflatable poo jabber
OH MY GOD!
I gotta warp outta here, Princess Zelda
awaits
I must defeat Ganondorf before it gets too
late
Okay, now I really don't know where I am
Hold on a minute Link!
God DAMN it, Old Man!
You're in Raccoon City, it's a zombie abyss
It's dangerous to go alone, take-
NO!
f*ck you!
I'm not giving you a-
Not touching your we-
Stop the chilled out groove!
Jeez!
You come in here telling me you got a
weewee weapon
It's not cool, I'm not gonna touch it, I'm
not gonna splllllNO!
So is that a "No" on the handjob or...
Okay.