Charlie Brown had a big block head wore a stripy sweater everyday
Tried to kick that football but Lucy always pulled the mother f*cker away
Flew a kite just to try to relax but he always put that shit in a tree
And a little red-headed girl wouldnt give no play to poor Chuck B
They were the baddest f*ckers in the funny papers PEANUTS!
Onto a security blanket, Linus VanPelt would latch
Snuggling to that bitch to keep warm while waiting in a pumpkin patch
Had a stalker named Sally Brown well she always tried to get her some
She loved how he knew the meaning of Christmas and the sexy way he sucked that thumb
Well watch out, cause here they come PEANUTS!
Oh Peanuts crazy Peanuts
A bunch of kids trying to be free
Take my hand and lets dance know
Under Charlies shitty Christmas tree
ooh Marcy was best friends with Patty Patty Peppermint
She would love to do things to that girl that Charles M. Schulz cant print
Pigpen was a dusty dude who couldnt keep his own ass clean
All the teachers said wa wa wa wa wa what does that shit mean?
Well watch out, cause here they come PEANUTS!
Oh Peanuts crazy Peanuts
Coming from the school of hard knocks
Lifes not always bowls of candy
Sometimes you only get a bag of rocks
Lucy was a psychiatrist but her comments always gave offense
And the bitch couldnt make no money cause shed charge a mother f*cker 5 cents
And all the ladies loved that Schroeder cause hed play the 80s hits real good
And Franklin was a real cool cat but the only brother in that hood
Well watch out, cause here they come PEANUTS!
Oh Peanuts crazy Peanuts
Poor Charlie Brown you will never get laid
It's so hard to get p*ssy
When you're the baldest kid in second grade
Oh Peanuts crazy Peanuts
A bunch of kids trying to be free
Take my hand and lets dance now
Under Charlies shitty Christmas tree