How I Saved Roosevelt Lyrics

RADIO ANNOUNCER
(as a band plays El Capitan)
That was President-elect Franklin D. Roosevelt, ladies
and gentlemen, speaking to a crowd of supporters here
in Miami's
beautiful Bayfront Park. A group of notables are
pressing in around the President-elect's car. There's
Mayor Anton Cermak of
Chicago, and --

(Gunshots are heard, then screams.)

There's been a shot! I can't see -- wait! Mr. Roosevelt
is waving! He's all right! But Mayor Cermak has been
hit! The police
have somebody in custody. An immigrant. Giuseppe
Zangara. We take you now to a group of eyewitnesses who
will tell us
what they saw!

(Five bystanders are revealed clustered around a
microphone.)

BYSTANDER #1
We're crowded up close,
And I see this guy,
He's squeezing by,
I catch his eye,
I say to him, "Where do you
Think you're trying to go, boy?
Whoa, boy!"
I say, "Listen, you runt,
You're not pulling that stunt,
No gentleman pushes their way to the front."
I say, "Move to the back!", which he does with a grunt
--
Which is how I saved Roosevelt!

BYSTANDER #2
(pushing #1 away from the microphone)
Then --
Well, I'm in my seat,
I get up to clap,
I feel this tap,
I turn -- this sap,
He says he can't see,
I say, "Find a lap
And go sit
On it!"
|Which is how I saved --
|
|BYSTANDER #3
|Then --
He started to swear
And he climbed on a chair,
He was aiming a gun -- I was standing right there --
So I pushed it as hard as I could in the air,
Which is how I saved Roosevelt!

ALL THREE
Lucky I was there --

BYSTANDER #1
That's why he was standing back so far--!

BYSTANDER #3
That's why when he aimed, he missed the car--!

ALL THREE
Just lucky I was there,
Or we'd have been left
Bereft
Of F.D.R.!

(Zangara is seen strapped into the electric chair)

ZANGARA
You think that I scare?
No scare.
You think that I care?
No care.
I look at the world --
No good. No fair. Nowhere.

When I am a boy,
No school.
I work in a ditch.
No chance.
The smart and the rich
Ride by,
Don't give no glance.

Ever since then, because of them,
I have the sickness in the stomach,
Which is the way I make my idea
To go out and kill Roosevelt.

First I was figure I kill Hooever,
I get even for the stomach. Only Hoover up in Washington.
Is wintertime in Washington,
Too cold for the stomach in Washington --
I go down to Miami kill Roosevelt.

No luagh!
No funny!
Men with the money,
They control everything.

Roosevelt, Hoover --
No make no difference.
You think I care who I kill?
I no care who I kill,
Long as it's king!

BYSTNADER #4 (MAN)
The crowd's breaking up
When I hear these shots,
And I mean lots --

BYSTANDER #5 (HIS WIFE)
I thought I'd plotz --

MAN
I spotted him --

WIFE
My stomach was tied in knots --

MAN
So I barrelled --

WIFE
Harold--!
No, what happened was this:
He was blowing a kiss --

MAN
|She means Roosevelt --
|
|WIFE
|I was saying to Harold, "This weather is bliss!"

MAN
When you think that might have missed seeing him miss--
!

BOTH
Lucky we were there!

WIFE
It was a historical event--!

MAN
-- Worth every penny that we spent!

THE BYSTANDERS
Just lucky we were there!

BYSTANDER #1
To think, if I'd let him get up closer--!

BYSTANDER #3
I saw right away he was insane --

(dragging Bystander #2 forward)

Oh, this is my husband, we're from Maine --

BYSTANDER #2
He told me to sit, but I said, "No sir!"

BYSTANDER #4
This makes our vacation a real success!

BYSTANDER #5
(to approaching photographer)
Are you with the press?

PHOTOGRAPHER
Yes.

BYSTANDER #5
Oh God, I'm a mess...

BYSTANDER #1
Some left wing foreigner, that's my guess --

ZANGARA
No!

BYSTANDERS
And wasn't the band just fantastic?

ZANGARA
No left!
You think I am left?
No left, no right,
No anything!
Only American!

Zangara have nothing,
No luck, no girl,
Zangara no smart, no school,
But Zangara no foreign tool,
Zangara American!
American nothing!

And why there no photographers?
For Zangara no photographers!
Only capitalists get photographers!

NoBYSTANDERS
Right!Lucky
No fair!I was there!
Nowhere!
So what?I'm on the front page --
Is that bizarre?
No sorry!And all of those pictures, like a star!
And soon noJust lucky I was there!
Zangara!We might have been left
Who care?
Bereft of F.
Pull switch!
No care,D.
No more,
No --R!

(Zangara is elctrocuted.)

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