I had my stomach pumped two times my senior year
which earned the approbation of all my plastered peers
Now I do my weekly bleeding at trendy AA meetings
I was a social monster, but now I serve my sponsor
I choke out clich?Tonfessions, I suck down coffee black
I chain smoke cigarettes between handfuls of Prozac
Man, am I one sober stallion - I just got my first
medallion
My higher power drugged me, I'm letting strangers hug
me
Now I really crave a meeting, all those soothing empty
greetings
The Big Book is omniscient and I'm not self-sufficient
Dependency's still coursing through my blood, I'm only
changing drugs
Self help study, twelve step program, which hollow
slogan was it?
"We Found Serenity" in "Day by Day" or "Easy Does It"?
Plant that affirmation seed, out license plates should
read
"Ten thousand lakes and treatment centers,
Betty Ford's our statewide mentor"
They say the devil's in the details of this cunning,
baffling habit
I poured out all my Nyquil, I flushed my Sine-Aid
tablets
'Don't take others' inventory,''Thanks for sharing'
your sick story
If I bluff I know they'll call it, cause 'I'm Stuart,
I'm an alcoholic'
Dysfunction builds the strangest sages, quoting
pointless daily phrases
The Big Book is omniscient and I'm not self-sufficient
Dependency's still coursing through my blood, I'm only
changing drugs
It's a self perpetuating business, you can't cure a
lifelong sickness
Hazelden cleaned out my parents, but my stay was
fourteen carat
Inner peace is what we seek at fifteen hundred bucks a
week
Treatment's just a new psychosis, need and weakness
through hypnosis
The Big Book is omniscient, and I'm not self sufficient
Dependency's still coursing through my blood, I'm only
changing drugs