I used to watch Quantum Leap
Every night with my girlfriend
Al and Sam, they leaped through time
And I felt like they were my best friends
Ziggy said there's a 98 percent
Chance of a broken heart
Scott Bakula never played Dracula
Laid down the smackula on the bad guys
He was honest and sharing and loving and caring
The kind of guy who would always do the right thing
Clever and handsome and so damn sensitive
And I'm not… Scott
He was sweet enough to tame the fire
In that self-empowered Murphy Brown chick
I even bought ‘Lord of Illusions'
Even though I thought that move kinda sucked
Ziggy said there's a 98 percent
Chance that the ending's sad
Scott Bakula never smoked crackula
He played quarterbackula in ‘Necessary Roughness'
Scott Bakula never played Dracula
Laid down the smackula on the bad guys
He was honest and sharing and loving and caring
The kind of guy who would always do the right thing
Clever and handsome and so damn sensitive
And I'm not… Scott
He's nice enough to play a gay guy
He's cool enough to star in sci-fi
He's man enough to helm a starship
And I'm the type of guy who would feel up that Vulcan chick
Ziggy said there's a 98 percent
Chance that I'm a prick
No one can love you like Scott Bakula can love you
I'll never be Scott Bakula
He possesses all the traits that I sorely lackula
Sometimes I just want to punch him in the sackula
Because I'm not Scott