Malcolm, Dust 'em Lyrics

From the moment he saw her
He knew that he was for her
Never mind she's a giant
And completely reliant
On certain things he couldn't possibly begin to provide

They were wed in the autumn
With a ring she had bought him
But her folks were against it
And they weren't in attendance
"What's he wanting with a giant, what's he got to hide?"

Well, her face, it was horrid
But her heart, it was solid gold

You see, late at night
With young Malcolm asleep
She would creep out the back door
And despite the creaking floor
She'd make her way onto the street
The wee hours of morn
Is when she'd return
With her crumbling body tired
Her jewel eyes still bright and wired
But slowly she'd drift off back to sleep...
Malcolm, dust them, you can't trust them
Use your feather duster, bust them
Don't play kind now, don't play blind now
There's only one way you can find out

Malcolm, powder, rock and doubt her
I can feel there's somethin' about her
Don't be scared, it isn't fair that
You should bear her bad behaviour

For a time things were dandy
Bought a house that looked fancy
Making love was quite chalky
And she used to play naughty
Now all she plays is silly games of darting 'round the truth

And she once was persistent
Now she seems non existent
Her rock body and wire frame
Became harder to maintain
And to be fair rock-giants are much prettier in their youth

And her true colours showing And her stories were growing old

You see late one night when the fires were out
The giant laid an egg
They laid there both in bed
She said, "Malcolm, soon we'll have a child."
Malcolm, dust her! You can't trust her!
Use your dusting broom and bust her!
No more tears now, it's quite clear now
You have been sterile for years now

Malcolm, there's your proof right there of
A problem you just must take care of
Do as you oughta, fetch the water
There's more to her than brick and mortar

Lining up the town's men one by one
He damps his broom, and dusts them down
And when he's done he will compare it
To what's on the giant's egg
When it hatches, if it matches
Malcolm take your giant bride and
Smash her chest, take to her with your hammer
And pry out her golden heart

Malcolm, dust 'em. You can't trust 'em
Use your feather duster, bust them
Don't play blind now, don't play kind now
There's only one way you can find out

Malcolm, dust 'em! You can't trust 'em
Use your feather duster, bust them
No remorse so dig your claws, oh
Teach 'em that you're brave and awesome
Malcolm, dust 'em! It's disgusting
See them how they kicking, fussing
Send it out and stop the rumble
End it now and watch your trouble

Malcolm, dust 'em! Face adjust them
Take her golden heart and crush them
Schluck and muck them, deconstruct them
Use your mighty hammer, F*** them!

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