Well who ya callin’ Moon Pie? My real name is Richard
I live in a little town, you've probably never been to before
There's a post office surrounded with gardenias
And a pair of mud flaps waggling at my door
I don't know why I’ve got to say it, but somebody's got to help me.
Nobody knows I'm here
Oh please don't call me Moon Pie, my real name is Richard
My identity will disappear!