Today is not a good day for me, for today I found out I
was mad,
as I have discovered this in the last 45 minutes my
madness is
still new, fresh in my mind so to say, so I can
understand it
more. It has come to my attention that over the past
year and a
half I have acquired a condition known as acute
paranoid
schizophrenia in relation to everyone and everything I
did. It
gradually worsened through the year to this point of
realisation
that I have a twin mind.
And in the intervening time I consumed with a passion
various
things to keep the main side happy, and as the main
side grew
hungrier quicker, and if it wasn't fed each time, it
began to
eat the other.
Distrust of everything, it ran in the family, at least
on my
mothers side. There was too much trust in the other. I
am it's
eldest offspring and I too have distrust too much.
That's why I
don't want children. Each person has their own tragedy,
mine as
I found out was this fear of my old lady turning into
the very
same old lady that I despised when I grew up.
But you fall in love and is it possible to fall in love
with
every woman you meet, you just stand there with your
mouth open,
thinking wishing I never existed. But this is my time
and the
girl I just met should be here 'cause here was a woman
who held
me and did not copy my every move, she just let it
happen, never
asked, but I answered for I myself am heaven and hell.
Today is not a day for me
Today is not for me