Armitage Shanks Lyrics

A couple of pints'll gonna usually do you
Doesn't take long to go right through you
Make room for more, empty the tanks
Off you're gonna go to the Armitage Shanks

You hope & you pray there won't be a queue
An “out of order” sign or a surprise for you
That won't go away when you turn the crank
When you finally arrive at the Armitage Shanks

***Armitage Shanks, Armitage Shanks
Let us be grateful, let us give thanks
May we never regret the drinks we drank
Praise be the name of Armitage Shanks

One too many'll give you the spins
Make you a little weak in the shins
Here's to the one whose sorry head hangs
Over the side of the Armitage Shanks

Sometimes they'll tell you it's just for customers' use
You ask real nice and they still refuse
You would give all the money you've got in the bank
If they wouldn't be so stingy with their Armitage Shanks

***Armitage Shanks, Armitage Shanks
Let us be grateful, let us give thanks
May we never regret the drinks we drank
Praise be the name of Armitage Shanks
It's the last song before the break
You can't sit still and your kidney aches
Just a wee bit longer while I fill in some blanks Then you'll appreciate even more the Armitage Shanks

And now as you sit there - listening to me
You've been drinking pints - and you all have to pee
Wouldn't it be a pretty good prank
To have 65 verses of Armitage Shanks?

65 verses to Armitage Shanks
65 different ways that we could give thanks
I know for you that there's only one
I'm gonna end this song soon - and then you all can run

Meanwhile, don't think of rivers, don't think of creeks
Chase away thoughts about pipes that leak
Or faucets dripping, or balloons going “bang”
Until after you've been to the Armitage Shanks

***Armitage Shanks, Armitage Shanks
Let us be grateful, let us give thanks
May we never regret the drinks we drank
Praise be the name of Armitage Shanks

Know how to spell Mississippi?
M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I……..P-P……..I
That's how you spell Mississippi
M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I……..P-P……..I
***Armitage Shanks, Armitage Shanks
Let us be grateful, let us give thanks
May we never regret the drinks we drank
Praise be the name of Armitage Shanks

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