This Is Not Harry Potter Lyrics

Something just occured to me as I was reading
another book I'd heard was the next big thing
I thought what would I give, if it could be true
If I could ever feel again the way I felt when I read you
I'd pay a million galeons
Or Dress up like I go to beauxbatons
I'd tattoo my head with a lighting bolt
I'd pawn my wand and firebolt
But no matter how many good things I'm told
Everything I ever read turns out to be leprechaun gold

It's been so many years no matter how I try
to read more young adult fiction
I keep coming up dry
it's like water water everywhere and not a drop to drink
my frustration and my agony have pushed me to the brink
I keep tilting back the glass but I never taste the water
it seems no matter what I read I think "this is not harry potter."

I was pretty impressed with frankie landau banks
but compare saving the world with a few epic pranks
There is no monoploy on non-human people
there's faerie's buggers talking cats and nac mac feegle
And thirteen little blue envelopes
Was fantastic but my sneakoscope
would be flashing and spinning if I said
That it was the best book I've read
And you gotta know that this is no joke That I also read books that my own brother wrote

It's been so many years no matter how I try
to read more young adult fiction
I keep coming up dry
it's like water water everywhere and not a drop to drink
my frustration and my agony have pushed me to the brink
I keep tilting back the glass but I never taste the water
it seems no matter what I read I think "this is not harry potter."

And in the darkest hours, of my darkest nights
I found myself curled up with twilight
And I couldn't help but wonder as I ravenously read
can you avada kedavra the undead
'cause edward cullen totally has it comin'
and if he saw voldemort he'd better start runnin'
cause there's not much that the dark lord and i
could agree on but I think that we would both hate that guy
Sir nicholas de mimsy porpington
Is a character name that, all by itself, is better than breaking dawn

It's been so many years no matter how I try
to read more young adult fiction
I keep coming up dry
President Snow is no voldemort
Diagon Alley is cooler than Ankh Mor Pork
And Lyra Silvertoungue is Mrs. Coulter's Daughter
That's a good plot twist but it is not harry potter.

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