ten days in bali, got four days to go
ten days of terror cos im glued to the throne,And im
shittin' in litres and firin' both ends,i'll never shit
solid again.
And its cost me a fortune for this holiday, stead of
pissin' it up, christ, im shittin' it away.
cause im glued to the loo while my mates are out
ragin', i'll never shit solid again.
I'll never shit solid again,
or hold anything down for aslong as i live, cause me
arse is jammed open from freckle fatigue, i'll never
shit solid again.
I called mum back home, she sed mix up a cup. of
cornflour and gravox to thicken it up, then she pissed
her self laughin and hung up the phone, i'll never shit
solid again.
Just had a crap and im wipin me ring, havent quite
finished, start spewin' again, Jesus, hope i remember
to use the right hand, i'll never shit solid again.
i'll never shit solid again, so i'll rig up a faucet to
stick up me ring, at least wen i fart i wont splatter
me jeans, i'll never shit solid again.
I'm doin' cartwheels as i try to guess, a crap or a
chunder- christ whats comin' next, will it spray
through me fingers or run down me leg, i'll never shit
solid agen.
slipped on some shit a foot thick on the floor, skid
arse over tit, then i spewed a bit more, Now i gotta
sift through it cause me denture fell in, i'll never
shit solid agen.
I'll never shit solid again, me rings hangin' out n me
guts have caved in, i'll be buried in a bucket and me
mates will all sing- "he'll never shit solid again"