Fucksticks Lyrics

Intro keyboard plays
Now my grandad had a word,he used when things when wrong,to introduce this word to you I put it in a song,
so everytime this word is used his memory lives on,
I'm about to tell you what it is so you can sing along,

chorus
f*cksticks when nan wouldn't let him touch her furry pie,
f*cksticks when he got some shrapnel lodged in his japs eye,
f*cksticks when a german sniper shot him in the cock,
f*cksticks when he found a lump on his left bollock,
f*cksticks when nan died and left him all alone,
f*cksticks when he let a bogus caller into his home,
f*cksticks when the first black people moved into our street,
f*cksticks when his arthritis means he couldn't beat his meat,
f*cksticks,mother's cunt,f*cksticks,
Keyboard instrumental
f*cksticks,mother's cunt,f*cksticks,

verse 1
And everytime I hear this word I start to reminise,
And suddenly taste worthers and get a faint whiff of piss,So when someone annoys me and things get on my wick,I think about that racist old cunt and really let it rip chorus 2
f*cksticks when I miss an open goal on five a side,
f*cksticks when I lost a hard on when nana died,
f*cksticks when the teachers told I was no good,
f*cksticks when the old bill caught me wanking in the wood,
f*cksticks when I'm having it off and I think off my old dad,
f*cksticks when the little cunt put skidmarks down the pan,
f*cksticks when some motherf*cker pushes in the queue,
f*cksticks when you get caught short and really need a poo,
f*cksticks when I came tumbling off my BMX,
f*cksticks when I split my frendulum whilst having sex,
f*cksticls when some smart bastard gives me my comuppance,
f*cksticks when it's been ages since I've seen a ladies tuppence,
f*cksticks when there's no clean pants and you have to wear your mum's,
when your bird won't let you f*ck her up the bum,
f*cksticks when you're feeling glum and don't know what to say just say f*cksticks
f*cksticks
f*cksticks
and it makes everything OK,
f*cksticks,mother's cunt,f*cksticks

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