Phlegm lapels for the last time
Corn beef legs for the last time
Oh, we're so glad that you've finally decided
But then you see someone new and you want someone new
So you have someone new, I don't blame you
We would all do the same as you if ever we had the nerve to
Chips with cream for the last time
The People's Friend for the last time
Oh, we're so glad that you've finally decided
Tiny striped socks for the last time
Pokes and prods for the last time
And the doctor said, "Don't nod your head until June"
But then you see someone new and you want someone new
So you have someone new, I don't blame you
We would all do the same as you if ever we had the chance to
Sick at noon for the last time and who is gonna clean up?
Would you be so kind? Oh, everybody's staring
At the strange clothes that you're wearing
Bad advice for the last time
And people being nice for the very first time
Oh, we're so glad that you have finally decided