There were three young men who fell in love with Jane
Tom, Dick, and Harry were their names
"I am her only boyfriend," each of them would boast
But she passed on Tom and Harry
'Cause she liked Dick the most
Now she's got Dick in the palm of her hand
She likes to hold Dick
She likes to squeeze Dick
She likes to kiss Dick all of the time
Seems like Dick is always on her mind
So Dick and Jane got married on that day
But their petty problems soon got in the way
Before long they were divorcin', and Dick thought he'd
get half
But Jane took everything except for Muff, their little
cat
Now he's got Muff in the palm of his hand
He likes to grab Muff
He likes to squeeze Muff
He likes to tease Muff all of the time
Seems like Muff is always on his mind