Excuse me young lady but I got a friend,
Who's copter up trot and could do with a hand,
So if you don't mind could I chat with you then,
'Cause I'd like to talk about me dick,
'Cause he's been out'a work since me missus pissed off,
First time in his life he's been out of a job
Now he just hangs around and he's at a loose end
And me dick's on the dole, livin' on handouts again.
Fair dinkum it's not me I'm worried about
It's me midget sized maggot what's goin' without,
And maybe you can him get over the drought,
He's too shy to ask himself,
He used to proud once held his head up high
Now if you look real close there's a tear in his eye,
But with one little kiss he could rise up again
'Cause me dick's on the dole, livin' on handouts again.
He's been battered and beaten and shaken about
He's been bitten and eaten and spat right back out,
After what he's been through he's still hangin' in there,
Now he just needs somebody who cares,
You've probably heard that a dog's man's best friend
But a dog'd f*ck off if you done that to him,
But you seem like the sort who would help if you can
'Cause me dick's on the dole, livin' on handouts again.
He's been hit by a cricket ball scolded by tea,
Felt the full force of a diesel dyke's knee,
And it's been so long now since he's had any work,
He's as soft as a pensioner's turd,
If he goes on like this I don't think that he'll last,
'Cause lately I'm havin' dry dreams and wet farts
And he ain't had a root now since I don't know when
'Cause me dick's on the dole, livin' handouts again.
Aw me dick's on the dole, livin' on handouts again.
Aw me dick's on the dole, livin' on handouts again.
Me little dick's on the dole, livin' on handouts again.
Me poor little dick's on the dole, livin' on handouts again.
Me dick's on the dole, livin' on handouts again.